I’m so disappointed in myself right now. I don’t know what the hell I’ve been thinking.

So, I’ve started my 6th week of p90x. In case you aren’t familiar with the program it’s a very intense 90-day, 6-day a week program. There are 12 different workouts and it’s been proven to be one of the best exercise plans around. You work every muscle and do different routines, to keep your body guessing, etc.

I’m sure you know about it, anyway.

So, as I start my 6th week I realize that I’m pissed.
I’m still wearing the same jeans!!!! I measure my success based off of how my clothes fit. Oh, and how well you can see my clavicle. I was for sure thinking that AT LEAST after 4 weeks, I’d be shopping for new, smaller jeans.


So, I started thinking yesterday and had a chat with a personal trainer who I work with and totally realized that I’m not eating enough food. I’m not getting enough calories on a daily basis and I’m not eating enough throughout my entire day.

So, this means that my body is holding onto the food that I eat and storing it as fat because I’m not giving it enough food so that it won’t need to do that.

You follow me? You know this. We all know this. I know this.
Why didn’t I think of this? Why am I not eating more often? Why am I eating such a small amount of calories?

Why do I feel like, now, after busting my ass SO HARD, that I’m going to have to start over?!

I’m so upset and annoyed and discouraged, I could SCREAM!

So, I’m hoping now that I eat a little more that the weight starts shedding ASAP.


4 responses to “Bummed.

  1. Fuel for the fire! You can do it!

  2. Roughly how many calories were you eating per day, Kerry? You must be starving all the time if its so little that your body is storing it all thinking you’re living through a famine! I’m curious about stuff like this because I know its a balancing act – how many extra calories will you need to eat to make the weight come off? An extra piece of fruit each day, or more like a few hundred calorie mini-meal, orrrr…what?

    Also, I doubt you’ll really have to “start over” – I mean, you have been building muscle like crazy, right?! So that is a lot of progress already made. You’re doing really well by sticking with it for 6 weeks already. Proud of you!

  3. Thanks Ladies! Love the support and motivation! 🙂

    Clara- ohh, LORD. Who knows. I suppose I’m not TOTALLY starting over, but I am feeling discouraged. Maybe I shouldn’t be?

    Here’s what I was usually eating..
    Oatmeal with a little peanut butter, a banana and usually some blueberries.
    Maybe a hot pocket or lean cusine meal for lunch. (I know. IKNOW. lol!)
    OR a sandwich instead.

    Then dinner.. this is the worst part.

    Salad. tons of spinach, tomatoes, cucumber, strawberries, carrots, onions and SOME nuts.

    And somewhere a fiber one bar which is probably 90-110 calories.
    tons of water.
    a little coffee.

    SO, probably not even 1000 calories?!?! AM I KIDDING?!
    BUT, I’m not feeling hungry all day which is weird and bad because that means I just got used to it, ya know?
    So, I’m changing my ways. Trying to eat every 3 hours.. more snacks. More for dinner.

    Started up with spinach smoothies and adding some protein powder to them.

    Hope the change starts ASAP.

  4. I read somewhere that the minimum calorie intake for safe, long term weight loss is supposed to be 1200 cal/day for a woman of average height (you).

    So, maybe aim for that if you really aren’t hungry during the day? I think your meals sound fine as long as they aren’t miniscule portions. You probably just need to add a couple snacks and maybe a bit more protein for dinner and you’ll be good to go. I bet a smoothie or two a day and maybe some chicken, fish, or lean steak to go with the salad for dinner is all you need to see amazing results!

    I really am proud of you for your dedication, though!!

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