marriage

There once a time that I didn’t believe in marriage. Now, that I’m 12 days away from my wedding, I look back at those thoughts and think how far I’ve come. My mind has been stretched open to a whole new level. I’ve learned a lot over the last two years and can thank myself and my handsome fella for the entire experience. There are so many things that you will never understand unless you’re in that particular situation and I can only imagine how many more of the moments my future will hold. As husband and wife, as parents, etc.

I dont necessarily think that “not believing” in marriage is wrong, because if someone told me that they didn’t believe… I would understand. And most likely would agree with why they think that way or agree with the fact that they think that way to begin with. Period.

And because I can understand it and almost agree with the thought of those of the non-believers, I am struggling with whether that is going to make me a bad wife.
I remember last year my friend told me she went through marriage counseling with her church and the question was, “what are the chances that youll get a divorce?” her husband said, never.. she said there would be about a 5% chance. hahaha. Her, at the time, soon-to-be husband, got upset. She was being realistic. I sided with her, because really, you never know. It’s all a huge gamble.

But, I didn’t think she was a bad wife, or not ready or not excited or anything. And I don’t really think that I’m about myself. But, I just feel like I keep seeing people who are married or about to be married who have dedicated their whole entire life to their spouse…and that’s just not going to happen. That’s just not me.

If you think about how your life is now, vs. 3 years ago vs. 3 years before that vs. 3 years before that, you are most likely a very different person. Unless you got married and had a baby when you were like, 22. LoL. But, even then, I can imagine you’ve changed.

So, it has to be normal to walk into a situation knowing damn well you two might just completely change… maybe for the better, maybe for the worse. Maybe change together, maybe not.

But, I suppose that’s the challenge to happiness and the challenge to keep going.

And, well, I guess that’s what I’m after, because no matter what happens or how it happens, I’m in it for the long-haul.

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